A television dream post and a "hail Mary" effort

This post stems from a night with no sleep and several day's efforts to complete the entry and get it out there. So rather than just give you a post that looks and reads like a short essay I offer up some photos that have absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post. They are fun photos and are unlikely to relate to any other post so I hope you enjoy!

1. Hubby posing next to a sign offering a trip to Moab (where our daughter lives) and beer - two good things for Hubby.

2. That is me (in the wheelchair) approaching Michael Moore (my secret crush) with Matthew Modine and someone I don't know, during the TCFF.

3. First picture in this post of Kris (she likes posts that focus on her and her birthday is coming up this week) showing her trophy for winning the triathlon! Amazing - she works so hard at this. Not that her training is as clear in the next photo of her.

4. A giant Taco Bell sauce package-they make me laugh even in the little form so the idea of someone walking around in this outfit continues to tickle me.

5. Darling daughter Kris (the one who lives in Moab) showing off her decidedly not vegan meal choice!

And now the post:

Are you a Grey's Anatomy fan? My daughter in law is. My son would call me on Thursday nights when he was making the long drive home from Northern Indiana if it happened to coincide with when the show was on, his dear wife loves him but preferred to talk to him any other hour of the week. My son never missed watching it with her when he was home. I like the show. It is full of very pretty people doing interesting things but while I watched regularly for a few years when they moved the show to Thursdays I just wanted to watch something else more.

Now lest you think I have lost my mind and am writing the most random of posting (which is still possible) hang in there with me and let's see if I get to my point. If I don't I may never publish this post anyway! Lifetime shows Grey's in reruns weekday afternoons. I frequently can't sleep so I have begun to DVR the show for middle of the night viewing.

On Thursday I was awake all night. My pneumonia antibiotic is kicking my butt! The nausea kept me awake while I was laying in bed from 9pm to 7:30am. I watched a lot of TV, including a few episodes of Grey's. If you are at all familiar it was during the story line that had one regular character stricken with brain tumors while another main cast member was killed off. I watched those episodes and cried.

Now for some reason I tend to really like the medical dramas. It may be because I have spent enough time in hospitals that the environment is familiar and I love to listen for the mistakes that get shouted about in the E.R. scenes. But I think there may be something else to it. Hospitals are ideal drama settings because for most of us the greatest dramas of our lives play out there. Those moments where everything changes, where we are our most vulnerable and lost, where we have least control, where even the good moments have elements of fear, those moments are a regular part of business in hospitals.

So back to these particular Grey's episodes. At the end of the episode with the dead friend and the miraculously alive other friend the voice over said something like: "as surgeons we are given many lessons on how to save a life but not one on how to live it." And that's the reason for the post. (Hope you're still with me).

Choosing your best life, noticing little moments, spending time doing more of what you like and less of what you don't, stopping to smell the roses, etc. all make nice refrigerator magnets but what do they have to do with real life? There in lays the rub. If you are the one with the miraculous life, the one who no one thought would make it but you did, the brilliant talented one that everyone believed could do anything, the oldest or youngest or middle child that your parents believed would take the world by storm - how do you live your life worthy of the enthusiasm?

I keep meaning to live this great life, but the day to day things keep getting in my way. Things like a messy house or lack of energy. But we all know those are excuses. Living a full life is scary. It is set up with tremendous potential for failure and likelihood of embarrassment. It is so easy to sit with friends or even easier with acquaintances and be silently sure of the areas in their lives where if they would just do what we told them they would certainly rid their lives of the wrong partner or job or raise a better child or .... Our own strongly voiced opinions when directed to our own selves don't seem to have the same "voice from on high".

So what do you do to clean up your life and focus its direction? Do you remember to be kind to yourself for your efforts? Do you remember to be kind to others as they try to navigate life also? Do you have a secret for following your passion? Do you have a secret for supporting loved ones who may have put others before their own desires? Have you discovered the way to balance it all?

I read so many blogs, usually by women younger than me (I'm 50) with small children and they accomplish so much. Their lives look perfect from out here. I am fairly certain that I will not have the opportunity to turn a lens on my life and show you a moment where all the pieces are working perfectly! But if it happens, you will be the first to know.

AND NOW- THE HAIL MARY PASS

I am the volunteer coordinator for a school scheduled for takeover at the end of the year. The reasons and politics can be saved for another day. This takeover has been responsible for many of our volunteers and donations drying up. Not so the kindness from a neighborhood church. Small with only about 65 families, they have approximately 20 volunteers in our school who have taken on projects from refillable water bottles for band kids marching in last summer's heat to compliant uniform clothing for students new to school or in need or who need a change to avoid being sent home and now to items needed to stay warm (including beautiful hand knitted items) and many other projects that directly benefit our kids.

In a meeting last month with a handful of volunteers from the parish, a volunteer there for the first time, presented an idea. Knowing our kids most all qualify for free and reduced lunch, knowing many of them eat their only full meals at school and fearful for them while on a two week break from school, she presented what we now call Project Snack Pack.

She offered to spearheaded a program to send every child, all 650, home with a large bag full of healthy snacks on the last day before break. That is at least 15 hearty snacks for 650 kids = 9750 snacks. She has been running nonstop for the last month shopping with monetary donations or sorting snack donations. They are scheduled to bag the snacks in six days.

We know this doesn't solve the hunger issue. Some kids might eat everything in the bag over the first weekend. We know that the next break will be just as scary. I would like to think that isn't the point. The point? We are trying to make hungry children less hungry for a while.

Here is the "hail Mary" part. The church started this project a month ago. I have spent the last 4 weeks with pneumonia-barely in school and certainly not holding up my end of the project to get the word out. And now we are on the last week to gather money or snacks. We are over 2/3 of the way there. If this idea touches your heart please consider contacting me about ways to give.

This is one of those projects that require just a bit from many. If the majority of people who read this and other efforts to spread the word would each contribute $5 we would be able to easily make this happen. There are so many needs and this time of year seems to shine a light on so many. However I love the idea that this impacts children who are housed in bigger bodies and rarely looking like someone you put on an envelope to entice you to give. But high school students get hungry too. Some of them work hard to keep the little ones in their lives fed (either their own children or younger siblings). These are good families and every parent's nightmare is having hungry children. I can remember being a very poor single mother but my parents made sure that my kids never ever went hungry.

There are places in the neighborhood that will be offering meals at no cost throughout the break. Not every day but they will happen. Just ask yourself this, have you ever been around a teenager who was not hungry? Ever met a teenager who did not want a snack before eating?

Please help me to make up for my own short falling efforts to raise funds. It is extraordinary to be part of a community coming together to solve a problem. Join us if you can.

Good luck to all of you in your efforts to make your world a bit better.

Be well.